Self-Explanatory

Statistics!

As a would-be lawyer, I've started to investigate that beast called "The Bar." Pennsylvania's Bar used to have a reputation for being easy-street--they called it "the candy bar" (Get it?!). Sadly, some Pennsylvania law-dawgs took affront. And since they had already passed their bar, I'm sure they felt positively giddy about pumping a little more oomf into a test that still can't tell the difference between Hillary Clinton (failed the DC Bar on her first try) and Harriet Miers (what Texas had to offer was no match for this future Bush crony). Also, I bet you dollars to donuts Maurice Levy nailed the Maryland bar his first time out. Ya know, in fiction.

Be that as it may, I was somewhat relieved to find that while the overall passage rate in PA is a relatively palatable 81%, that figure didn't really tell the whole story. Let's got to the numbers.

1,998 applicants sat for the Bar exam last summer. 373 failed. 1,625 passed

But of those who failed, only 230 were first-time test takers. And check out the declining passage rate:

1st Attempt Passage Rate: 1,581/1,811=87.3%

2nd Attempt Passage Rate: 21/61=34.4%

3rd Attempt Passage Rate: 12/44=27.3%

4th or More Attempts Passage Rate: 11/82=13.4%

2007 and 2008 show similar results. Talk about dedicating yourself to a losing effort! Are you listening, Lebron? The only person I know that tried for the Bar more than twice before finally passing is my cousin Vinny. (6 times). That dude is alright.

But from now on, I'm not counting these first-time-failure loser stores against the Pass Rate. Even if HRC counts herself among them.

John Steinbeck was a football fan

Jamal Lewis, disgruntled Cleveland Browns halfback, channelled his inner Grapes of Wrath this week when criticizing Cleveland Head Coach Eric Mangini:

"Hey, this is his show, it's not mine," Lewis said. "It's his show, it's not my show. Not anybody else around here's show. We're just the crop. You've got to take care of your crop. If you don't take care of your crop, when it comes time to harvest, you're not going to make no money because the crop ain't no good."

Aw, shucks Pa. Looks like someone's been put out to pasture.

The Difference

The Difference between Democrats and Republicans, is that when Democrats call their least favorite president the "anti-christ," they are doing so sarcastically.

Time to investigate?

Okay, I'm done. I need Roger Goodell to step in and investigate.

Bill Belicheat has brain washed Al Davis and taken full control of his mind.

First the Raiders trade Randy Moss to the Pats for a 4th round pick, and then they give away what's likely to be a top-5 first round pick to get Richard Seymour, a player now planning to sit out the season and never play a snap for Oakland. Looks like the only raiding going on is that of Al Davis' bling. (Ho ho ho).

What the crap, mate? This shouldn't be allowed. How could the other organizations possibly have allowed this trade to materialize without the 4-team veto voting block?

Turnaround-a-brewing?

Buccos fans: rejoice!

Your Pittsburgh Pirates have now defeated the Milwaukee Brewers for the first time in 18 games played.

At the conclusion of this season, your Pittsburgh Pirates will have had a losing record for 17 straight seasons.

If statisticians are to be believed, your Pittsburgh Pirates are due for a winning season this very upcoming year! MAZEL TOV!

Funny Friend Writes Letter

Hey employer,

I didn't get to take xyz, though I will next term. I did take random class abc which I rocked and am going to learn blah which will make me even awesomer for you. And when I do take xyz I'll blow that shit out of the water and knock your socks off even more.

HIRE ME NOW, MY NAME IS MAXLOUIK