But sadly, we cannot rebuild his career.
doot-doot-doot-doot-doot-doot-doot
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Tort Reform for Everybody!
Unless, by chance, your plaintiff happens to be the RIAA...
The recording industry secured a resounding victory when a Minnesota jury awarded the four major labels $1.92 million in damages after unanimously finding that Jammie Thomas-Rasset had willfully infringed on their copyrights by downloading and sharing 24 songs on the Kazaa peer-to-peer network.The mammoth size of the verdict, representing $80,000 per track, may help dissuade more P2P users from illegally downloading music, and for that the labels are happy. "We appreciate the jury's service and that they take this as seriously as we do," RIAA spokeswoman Cara Duckworth said in a statement.
In other words, punitive damages are perfectly reasonable when we're talking about individuals sitting at home on their laptops. But multi-billion dollar corporations? That's just excessive, man.
Three cheers for choosing law school!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Adventures in mixed sports metaphors
Will your Pittsburgh Penguins become the next Edmonton Oilers, or Buffalo Bills?
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Wholly original blogging
And not the least bit out of date:
Albert Einstein once defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
On the subject of crap-tastic movie predictions
You will no doubt recall the theatrical trailer for M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening boasting, without a hint of sarcasm, that the world was about to receive Mr. Shyamalan's "first R-rated film."
I remember thinking quite clearly, "uh oh."
I've been blessed in many ways in my life. The Ann Arbor public library, for instance, carries many films I would never pay to see in the theatre despite a lingering, minuscule desire to engage in cinematic surveying. Mind you, The Happening was not such a movie. But the odds of watching a crap-tastic film at home increase substantially when one is married.
To begin with, no plot structure should ever be built around an effeminate, sensitive Mark Whalberg. Once engaged, however, all I came to expect from this piece of junk was an explanation of sorts. The "reveal" is as old a concept as the mystery genre itself. If there is some indecipherable, extraordinary event - a happening, if you will - the most terrifyingly poor writing and acting can be forgiven if, and only if, the mysterious phenomenon is untangled and explained. In The Happening, the phantom menace* simply disappears without a trace, only to reappear in (thank God) France, in order to terrorize those cheese eating surrender monkeys.**
I suppose, in the end, this was the edginess Mr. Shyamalan was looking for. The audacity of leaving an audience without an answer having built a career of plot twists and surprise endings. But who cares? The question wasn't even worth asking.
Turns out the "R" stands for reeking, like a mackeral in the moonlight.
*Some of my more witty followers may have realized this reference serves as an homage to another feature in my crap-tastic series of films.
**Ironically***, The Simpsons has remained, on the whole, a delightful program, despite peaking on March 11, 1993 with the premiere of the finest Simpsons episode of all time, "Last Exit To Springfield."
***Not ironically.
I remember thinking quite clearly, "uh oh."
I've been blessed in many ways in my life. The Ann Arbor public library, for instance, carries many films I would never pay to see in the theatre despite a lingering, minuscule desire to engage in cinematic surveying. Mind you, The Happening was not such a movie. But the odds of watching a crap-tastic film at home increase substantially when one is married.
To begin with, no plot structure should ever be built around an effeminate, sensitive Mark Whalberg. Once engaged, however, all I came to expect from this piece of junk was an explanation of sorts. The "reveal" is as old a concept as the mystery genre itself. If there is some indecipherable, extraordinary event - a happening, if you will - the most terrifyingly poor writing and acting can be forgiven if, and only if, the mysterious phenomenon is untangled and explained. In The Happening, the phantom menace* simply disappears without a trace, only to reappear in (thank God) France, in order to terrorize those cheese eating surrender monkeys.**
I suppose, in the end, this was the edginess Mr. Shyamalan was looking for. The audacity of leaving an audience without an answer having built a career of plot twists and surprise endings. But who cares? The question wasn't even worth asking.
Turns out the "R" stands for reeking, like a mackeral in the moonlight.
*Some of my more witty followers may have realized this reference serves as an homage to another feature in my crap-tastic series of films.
**Ironically***, The Simpsons has remained, on the whole, a delightful program, despite peaking on March 11, 1993 with the premiere of the finest Simpsons episode of all time, "Last Exit To Springfield."
***Not ironically.
My first new car!
It smells of sweet leather and missed car payments
Update: Quite literally, my first new car.
Late Update: Lest there be any confusion. it's a new car. And also it is mine. Well, ours. But it is for sure new.
Update: Quite literally, my first new car.
Late Update: Lest there be any confusion. it's a new car. And also it is mine. Well, ours. But it is for sure new.
That's not what you think it is
No matter how much sense it makes logically, "dish detergent" and "dishwashing detergent" are not one in the same. Seriously. Do yourself a favor and run a little experiment the next time you come across an automatic dishwasher.
But, fear not. I've checked my law books, and a sudsy disaster is not normally considered grounds for divorce.
But, fear not. I've checked my law books, and a sudsy disaster is not normally considered grounds for divorce.
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